READ MY FIRST HAND EXPOSURE TO THE UK CULTURE

I’ve seen more breasts and yansh in the last two months than I’ve seen in the last two years or even twenty years. Oh sorry for sounding raw, I’ve just arrived in the UK and got exposed firsthand to a different culture and lifestyle. One month of walking the street already made me begin to wonder what’s the big deal in smoking or not smoking. Follow me, I’ve got more in my head.

My first day of going to work was also funny, first I didn’t understand where to stand for the bus going to my route and when the bus finally arrived, I ran and jumped the queue as I could not imagine people queueing to enter the bus. Everyone was laughing at me for acting funny while I was also looking at them like they are crazy. In my mind, I was wondering why they were all dragging their feet at the entrance. If una no go abeg allow me. My people, na me fuck up.

At first, I was struggling hard to hear what people were saying, then I realise they were also struggling to hear me too. I wanted to put in extra work in making sure they hear me believing my English was terrible, then I met the Asians and South Americans and I realized they speak even worse English than me. I concluded, that the struggle continues on both sides for all our us. 

Every day I returned home to tell my wife the tale of new yansh and breast that I saw. Bro, they are so many. One day while walking towards the bus stop, one lady wearing a transparent white gown just to cover her pant and bra walked past me. For a second l thought, I needed fresh blood from Jesus to clean my face, as I could not believe what just blocked my view. You are laughing, right? At this point, I am also.

One day I went on a hang out with my pastor and he told me that on one of his outreach to primary schools, he discovered that most of the pupils have not seen or touched the Bible before. Their parents are nominal Christians and not practicing. They shout oh my God once in a while, say a few graces before food and that’s all.

Only three sets of people can walk up to a stranger and start a conversation on the road. They are mentally challenged people, tourists, and Americans. Nearly everybody has a pet cat or dog. They are mostly on a special diet and occupy a special place in the heart of their owners. They also have a say in everything including when and where to stop during walks.

WORK PLACE

At my workplace, the few ones that manage to talk to me will ask once in a while how I’m finding my job and I will smile and then say “fine fine”. I thought they care until I found out they just wanted to know if I’ve started feeling the same stress as they are also feeling. On my first day of work in the UK, I cleaned a warehouse for ten hours, and the man nearly fainted. I’ve never done anything that stressful before but when remembering my hourly rate, I smiled to myself and say “there’s dignity in labour”. I’ve stopped cleaning though, I’ve moved to other things because I must chill with the big boys.WORK

My supervisor has his ears pierced, I think on both sides. I looked at him and say to myself “if you are in Nigeria, you will be jobless except you are running your own business in showbiz.

I think I should pause here.  Catch you later.

Find time to read this lovely piece I titled memories of God https://www.notesbylawal.com/memories-of-god-2/